Stop Asking “How Are You” & Replace It With This Question

How are you? This question used to be easy to answer, but not now.

The question “How Are You” has become more and more difficult to answer each and every day. Hanging in there is a common response, but it doesn’t really communicate how someone is really doing.

Why are we asking this question in the first place?

Because we care and we really want to know how that person is doing. Trying to answer this question has become so exhausting as it is quite difficult to explain all of the different emotions that you are feeling at this time. So, I’m suggesting changing this question to:

How are you treating yourself or how have you been treating yourself?

Image for post
Image for post

This question gets at the heart of what we are asking. We asking people we care about what are they doing for themselves.

Are you treating yourself with kindness?

Are you being more compassionate towards yourself?

Have you been hard on yourself recently and if so, why?

Are you aware of how you are treating yourself or have you been too focused on helping others to notice?

It again is still asking how are you doing, but from a standpoint of how are you taking care of yourself and what may you need?

If there was any time for us to learn self-compassion, this would be the time. During these surreal times, when we all are trying to figure out what is the “right” way of to live and instead finding ourselves making things up as we go along, being able to take a step back to see how we are treating ourselves is one of the most important questions we ask.

So, how are you treating yourself?

Positive Psychology Play Speaker & Coach / Find Ways To Rediscover Your Play at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store